Last night, I had a nightmare.
But ok, let's talk about the reality first. My tutees are having their examinations this week. I'm supposed to be helping the elder sibling with physics, mathematics and chemistry. I really struggle with chemistry and I often had to read through the textbook and the assessment exercises to revoke the "molecules" and "atoms" out of my memories.
It's a constant worry that I might not be able to help them and fulfill my responsibilities as a teacher. For once, I caught a glimpse of how some of the teachers who have taught me in the past must have felt. In this instance, my students are really obedient and willing to learn. I can't imagine how discouraged and unmotivated my teachers must have felt facing a student who has no desire to excel or show no interests in learning what was to be taught.
Anyway, the dream was a tad bit off reality, but I still believe it was a reflection of my worries. I dreamt that I am supposed to have 3 examination papers on a particular day. The Chemistry paper was supposed to be between 2 other papers and it was to be held at 1.50 p.m. It's really precise I understand but yes... the time for the chemistry paper was 1.50 p.m.
A Biology paper was to be held in evening after the Chemistry paper. From what I recall, I seem to be more preoccupied with the revision for my Biology paper instead of the Chemistry paper although it was the upcoming paper after the morning paper. Then again, I wasn't exactly preoccupied per se, because I vaguely remember playing some game while doing my revision. Apparently, I wasn't confident with Chemistry and procrastinated with my revision for that subject.
Time ticked by, and somehow or another, I woke up from a short nap, realizing I still had to revise for the Chemistry test. I switched to a "ultra-anxiety" mode.
Have I missed the test?
What time was it?
I vividly remember my sister in the dream, sitting on the sofa, observing my panic-stricken state. I looked at the clock, and realized the time was around 1.00 p.m., and I still had enough time to head to school for the Chemistry paper. However, I struggled and thought to myself, I haven't revised for it yet, how was I supposed to take the paper? I started looking for excuses, maybe I'm not feeling well? *cough*cough* I could take an MC from the doctor and I went through this whole state of limbo.... before waking up from my dream.
I felt sooooo relieved that it was just a dream. In reality, I am supposed to sit for an examination on Friday morning and for a moment, I thought I've missed the paper.
The dream appears to be a "synergistic" outcome of my fear for Chemistry, my upcoming test on Friday, and my constant problem of self-denial and procrastination, always waiting for the eleventh hour before I begin with my revision for the examinations or in fact, for any other matters.
It's amazing how a simple dream can be a sombre wake-up call. It makes me ponder over how real the consequences of my actions can be if I continued limbo-rocking through life with my bad habits.
Oh well... I wonder if this whole dream interpretation thing was a result of me studying and meditating over the book Daniel from the bible yesterday (I highly doubt so).
Anyway, given the wake-up call, I am so going to begin with my revision without procrastinating...
maybe... probably...
after a cup of hot tea?
Haha...
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